The Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy
by Spectra16
Summary: Crazy . . . All the Artemis Fowl fan fic writer's go to one school. Everyone is reminded of their past! Ms. Anonymity is confronted. Flamers welcome to read and see what you've been mistaking yourself for.
1. Something Fishy Is Going Down

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters I may mention in this story. NONE of them are mine. Not even the great fan fic writers.  
  
A/N: My apologies if I use you fan fic name in this story and you don't want it in there. just tell me and I will discontinue to use you name. Thanks for your time!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter One: Something Fishy Is Going Down  
  
Spectra16 walked into the doors of her new school. This school was a bit different from NORMAL schools though. She was invited to it. Which was a big deal because who in the right mind would INVITE Spectra16 to somewhere? So to her, it was a big deal.  
  
The school was newly built and only certain people were invited to it. It was kinda like Harry Potter. You get mail telling you that you can come. If not, you can't come. And it was like a boarding school. You didn't leave until you HAD to. Which kinda scared Spectra16 at first. She got pretty homesick(YEAH RIGHT! ! !) and didn't feel comfortable sleeping in a school (well, who wouldn't?).  
  
She continued to walk into the school and looked around for her dorm. She was having a little trouble at first until a blonde haired girl asked if she could find everything all right.  
  
Now, this was equally strange because blondes don't usually talk to Spectra16. Spectra isn't exactly popular and stuff so she was wondering it the blonde was blind or something. But then again, why would a blind person ask if she could FIND everything all right?  
  
"Um, I can't really find my room," Spectra16 said, confused still. The girl took her schedule and pointed down the hall.  
  
"Just go down there until you can turn and make a right. It should be right on that wall," The blonde said. Spectra16 smiled.  
  
"Thanks . . . I guess." The blonde walked away. (Spectra16: o_O What the heck?!)  
  
Spectra16 finally realized something was VERY wrong when she got to her first class. NO ONE knew each other. Everyone was dead silent and waiting for the teacher to arrive. And when the bell rang, there was still no teacher. After a minute or so of no teacher, a girl yelled out,  
  
"PARTY! ! !" Some people laughed. Spectra16 just looked down at her desk. Since her desk was nearest to the window, she looked outside for a while. Something VERY strange caught her eye. There were . . . FLAMINGOS outside! What were they doing out there? Spectra16 questioned this. Spectra16 couldn't help but ask aloud,  
  
"WHY IS THERE FLAMINGOS OUTSIDE?!?!?!" The girl sitting next to her spoke up.  
  
"Those would be mine!"  
  
Spectra16 was obviously very confused. Something about this school seemed familiar.  
  
Finally, the teacher ran in, panting. He was a very big, burly man. He was bald, yes, but it was kind of like a shaved bald. He didn't look too old. More like in his forties.  
  
"I'm sorry for being late to our first class, students. I had some unfinished business I had to . . . uh . . . finish."  
Someone in the front row was being snotty, "We understand!"  
  
"I am Mr. Butler. I DO NOT tolerate bad behavior! I expect you to follow rules! I expect your best!"  
  
Everyone panicked. He was not going to take kindly to anyone, they could tell.  
  
Since Spectra16 had a terrible fear of flamingos, she had one request.  
  
"Mr. Butler, can we close the blinds?" Spectra16 asked.  
  
"Are you mocking me?" Mr. Butler threatened.  
  
"No."  
  
"Than questions will be answered AT the end of my speech!"  
  
"MR. BUTLER! YOU HAVE A SIMILAR NAME TO A GUY FROM MY FAVORITE BOOK!" One of the students blurted out. Mr. Butler glared at her.  
  
"Do I?" Mr. Butler asked angrily.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"That's great. Maybe you'd like to explain that better to me AFTER class!" Mr. Butler yelled. The student nodded her head, afraid.  
  
"All right. Let's move on. I am your PE teacher. This is our classroom but we will be going to the gym. And I expect you all to do well in gym because it's not mental work. At least, it shouldn't have to be!" Mr. Butler threatened again. Everyone scooted down in their seats.  
  
AFTER CLASS  
  
"Did you see that guy? He was exactly like Butler from Artemis Fowl!" One of the girls exclaimed.  
  
"You like Artemis Fowl?" Another girl asked.  
  
"DUH! It's only the greatest book ever!" Another person yelled.  
  
Pretty soon the news was out. Everyone at the school like Artemis Fowl.  
  
"It's pretty strange, don't you think?" A girl asked Spectra16.  
  
"Yeah. Especially since the teacher fit Butler's description perfectly and we ALL like Artemis Fowl," Spectra16 said.  
  
"By the way, what's your name?" The girl asked Spectra16.  
  
"Um . . . Spectra16." The girl's jaw dropped.  
  
"Why? What's your name?" Spectra asked the girl.  
  
"Nicole . . . ," Nicole said. (I know, I know. Nicole isn't her pen name anymore but it's easier than writing Bloody Dead Rose all the time.)  
  
"We're . . . fan fic writers . . . ," Spectra stuttered.  
  
"This is WAY too coincidental! Our teacher is Butler, we all like Artemis Fowl, and most likely, we're all fan fic writers for Artemis Fowl."  
"Someone set this up . . . ," Spectra16 determined.  
  
"Hey, if Butler's here, than that must mean Artemis is too! ! !" Nicole yelled.  
  
SECOND CLASS  
  
"Hey, you wouldn't happen to be Nyghtvision, now would you?" Spectra16 asked the girl with the flamingos.  
  
"Actually, yes . . . yes I am," Nyghtvision asked a little weary of how she knew. Spectra16 shook her hand.  
  
"I'm Spectra16. Believe it or not. I think everyone here is an Arty fan fic writer. No lie," Spectra16 said. Nyghtvision's jaw dropped.  
  
"You're kidding!" She said in disbelief.  
  
"Nope." Nyghtvision turned to some other person.  
  
"Hey, are you on Artemis Fowl fan fic?" She asked.  
"Yeah. I'm slime frog!" smile frog said, a bit puzzled.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" Nyghtvision yelled. The bell rang. The teacher stepped in. No one could believe what they were seeing.  
  
"Take your seats!" The man said. Everyone's jaw dropped. This guy HAD to be Artemis Fowl Sr.  
  
"What?" He asked. No one answered. "Oh . . . okay then. I am Mr. Fowl. I will be your science teacher. Are there any questions before I begin?"  
  
One person raised there hand.  
  
"And you are?" So called 'Mr. Fowl' asked.  
  
"I'm Blue Yeti," Blue Yeti replied.  
  
"How may I help you?" Mr. Fowl asked.  
  
"Is this just one big joke or is this for real?" Blue Yeti asked. Mr. Fowl looked puzzled.  
  
"I'm not sure of what you are inclining."  
"Come on! Mr. Fowl? Mr. Butler? Everyone here likes Artemis Fowl! What kind of joke is this?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
"I doubt this was meant to be a joke, whatever 'this' is. I don't know what you are talking about! And everyone likes me son or me?" Mr. Fowl asked. Blue Yeti raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Your son!"  
  
"How did you know I have a son?" Mr. Fowl asked.  
  
"We all have read the books!" Blue Yeti said obviously.  
  
"Wait. What books?" 


	2. Where's Artemis?

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
Disclaimer: Boo! Did I scare you? No? Poo!  
  
A/N: Get over yourself!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. Der. . .  
  
A/N: No author's note today. Except that my characters are based on their bio. Just thought everyone should know this.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Two: Where's Artemis?  
  
Okay, so this was awkward. None of the teachers knew what any of the students were talking about. They didn't know about Artemis Fowl, the book anyway. It was strange. And more importantly, where was Artemis the Second? No one knew where he was. Since the characters from the book were teachers, they would've expected Artemis to be a teacher too. Spectra16 look at her schedule again.  
  
First hour- P.E. w/ Mr. Butler  
  
Second hour- Science w/ Mr. Fowl  
  
Third hour- Mathematics w/ Mr. Root  
  
Fourth hour- Technical Education w/ Mr. Foaly  
  
Fifth hour- Language Arts w/ Ms. Short  
  
LUNCH  
  
Sixth hour- Social Studies/Reading w/ Mr. Cudgeon  
  
Seventh hour- Fan Fiction Class w/ Mr. Fido  
  
Eighth hour- Music w/ Ms. Koboi  
  
Spectra16 sighed. It was just a bit awkward knowing that she knew more about the teacher than they thought. It had been three days since school first started and she was starting to get used to being there.  
  
She had met all the people from fan fic land that she already knew, she got used to the food, she got used to the beds, but she could never get used to the teachers. They freaked her out.  
  
Spectra16 shared a room with four other people, since there were five people to a room. They were Nyghtvision, Bloody Dead Rose, PyRo4, and surrealallstar. They all got used to each other and got along.  
  
But you have to admit, having Nyghtvision either wiggle her lips, twitch her nose, or break down laughing spontaneously in the middle of the night can be a bit, um, how shall I put this? Scary, dare I say?  
  
THIRD HOUR  
  
"WHAT?!?!?!"  
  
"Yeah, you heard me! I can't do math! ! !" Spectra16 yelled back. She figured if the teach can yell, I can too!  
"Everyone can do math! ! ! YOU JUST AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH!" Root was infuriated.  
  
"Can I go to the bath room?" Spontaneousxhumanxcombustion asked politely.  
  
"NO! WE ARE ALL STAYING HERE! WE ARE STAYING HERE UNTIL SPECTRA16 CAN FIGURE OUT THIS PROBLEM! ! !" Root yelled, lighting another cigar.  
  
Spontaneousxhumanxcombustion held it.  
  
"Now, we're gonna go through this AGAIN!" Root yelled. Spectra16 pressed the marker to the dry erase board. She bit her lip and wrote down some numbers.  
  
"Good." Root said. Spectra16 sighed and walked back to her desk.  
  
"I'm glad you know your basic numbers but . . . THE ANSWER IS WRONG! ! ! slime frog, YOU COME UP HERE AND DO THIS! ! !" Root yelled, getting redder by the minute.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," slime frog said. Root was only getting redder. But he didn't say anything.  
  
slime frog got the answer right. Root exhaled smoke.  
  
"All right. Now we're going onto calculus!" Root announced. This was going to be a long day.  
  
BEFORE FOURTH HOUR  
  
"He crazy," liquid*crystal declared Root.  
  
"He's got "Beetroot" written all over his forehead!" Dimple impute.  
  
"Look, nothing we say about Beetroot is gonna change the way he is. We might as well just leave it the way it is," Nyghtvision said. Spectra16 looked down.  
  
"At least I know my basic numbers. He can't yell at me for not knowing them."  
  
FOURTH HOUR  
  
"Hello, students!" Foaly chirped. Everyone moaned to the fact that they had just gotten out of math. No one was having a very good day. Foaly was all happy and stuff.  
  
"Now, today we're going to be working on the low tech computers that some freak company is making millions off of!" Foaly said almost well enough to not hear sarcasm. Quite a few people laughed at the way he said that. "The program is called Unix!" Like, two people out of the class of 25 students laughed a little. Not everyone knew what Unix was. "Um, just kidding."  
  
AFTER FOURTH HOUR  
  
"Spectra16! Wanna skip class with me?" PyRo4 asked. Spectra16 was willing but she didn't know the consequences in this school yet.  
  
"Hey, if anyone needs the class, you do, PyRo4!" Blue Yeti commented.  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"Well, I would if it's okay," Spectra16 said meekly.  
  
"Okay?! OKAY?!?! WHY WOULD IT BE OKAY?! OF COURSE WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO! THAT'S THE FUN OF IT!" PyRo4 exclaimed.  
  
Spectra16 shook her head.  
  
"Fine! I'll find someone else to skip class with me!" PyRo4 walks off.  
  
FIFTH HOUR  
  
"WAZZUP?!?!?!" Holly asked. Everyone just blinked at her. "Eh, forget you guys! Okay, today we're gonna learn all about disclaimers!"  
  
"BOO!" The majority of the class yelled.  
  
"AH! HIDE ME!" dijip yelled and hid under the desk. Holly starred at dijip.  
  
"Aneeeway, everyone needs to know how to write disclaimers. Especially if you don't own something you are writing about," Holly started.  
  
"Well, aren't we Ms. State-the-obvious. . . ," Mingo commented.  
  
"Actually, I'm Ms. Short," Holly said.  
  
LUNCH  
  
"I kinda like this school, even if it is a little strange," Spectra16 admitted, poking at what the School Board calls food.  
  
"A LITTLE STRANGE?!?! Come on, Spectra! It's like completely in Ireland, all the teachers are characters from the Artemis Fowl book, everyone that attends here is a fan fic writer for Artemis Fowl, and WE STILL HAVEN'T MET THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THE BOOK!" Bloody Dead Rose exclaimed. Everyone considered the thought.  
  
"She has a point," Nyghtvision said.  
  
"We should really find out whose behind this and sneak around the school," Big Friendly Walrus spoke up.  
  
"That would be scary, in a big school like this, ya know?" surrealallstar said.  
  
"We'll probably find out whose behind this later. It's probably just a big scam thing," Kitty Rainbow said.  
  
"I dunno. I think we should take action now," Big Friendly Walrus said. No one had a definite opinion.  
  
"All in favor of finding out what's going on, say "I"!" Bloody Dead Rose announced.  
"I!" Nyghtvision spoke.  
  
"I!" Spectra16 chirped.  
  
"I!" Spontaneousxhumanxcombustion yelled. A few others also said "I".  
  
"Well, what's our plan?" Bloody Dead Rose asked.  
  
"No, no, no! We shouldn't get involved! For all we know, this could be some kind of dangerous thing," Kitty Rainbow exclaimed.  
  
"Oh come on! What happened to your sense of adventure?" Blue Yeti asked her.  
  
"Um, it died." Kitty Rainbow was not sure of herself.  
  
"That would be cool if we found something strange in the girl's bathroom!" Spontaneousxhumanxcombustion randomly exclaimed.  
  
"Why would THAT be cool?" PyRo4 asked.  
  
"I dunno. I just thought it would. . ."  
  
SIXTH HOUR  
  
"Hello class," Cudgeon said in a mono tone.  
  
"SUP DAWG?!?!?!" slime frog yelled.  
  
"Nothing. Today I will be answering your questions about this class." Someone raises their hand. "Yes?"  
  
"Why are you so ugly?" Kelaal asked.  
  
"Cuz I'm normal. *someone else raises hand* Yes?"  
  
"Can I go to the bathroom?" Spontaneousxhumanxcombustion asked.  
  
"Not right now. You have to hear these questions so they won't be asked again. *someone else raises hand* Yes?"  
  
"Have you ever had large quantities of flamingos come to your home and eat your modem before?" A random paranoid person asked, shaking immensely.  
  
"No."  
"BECAUSE I HAVE! ! !" The paranoid person had their school uniform shredded into pieces and was pulling at a string for no apparent reason. Their hair was all over the place and their teeth chattered.  
  
"Sorry about that pal," Nyghtvision patted the guy on the back.  
  
"Any other questions?"  
  
"How do you take over the world without the use of sporks?" slime frog asks.  
  
"Is there any other questions?" 


	3. Adventurous Little Fan Fic Writers

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16  
  
Disclaimer: *mumbles* I don't own Artemis Fowl. Blah, blah, blah. . .  
  
A/N: Lucky, lucky. Two new characters have been added because I was feeling gracious today. And I'm sorry that not everyone can be in this story. Just know that the whole entire school is all Artemis Fowl fan fic writers from fanfiction.net. The characters that will be used throughout the whole story are a few though. I guess I haven't said who yet. And these are only the ones I have so far.  
  
(In order from when I found them. . . most of them are in alphabetical order because I looked in the directory.)  
  
AleniaOceanstar- Tessa and Jennie are included in this. I don't say specifically who is talking in dialog but they both are under this name. By the way, I LOVE YOUR LORD OF THE RINGS/ARTEMIS FOWL FICS! ! !  
  
Artemis Fowl the Second(not the Artemis in the books)- Long stories but enjoyable ones. Big Friendly Walrus- Remember "Night of Pleasure"? Oh well. I do. Better not bring that up. *suggestive coughs* Anyway, BFG is a really good author! Let's have a nice round of applause! *APPLAUSE* Okay!  
  
Bloody Dead Rose- I've been tight with her for a while now. She used to be Nicole. You know, Nicole the Great? She is great.  
  
Blue Yeti- Probably the most experiences writer here. Knows her stuff. Likes Root. I dunno what else to say about this legend. . .  
  
child-prodigy- Strangely, everything child-prodigy is good at is the exact same as what I'm good at. (See her bio)  
  
dijip- Hates Disclaimers (even though I've renovated a new disclaimer like disclaimer), wants Seri to die (even though they are related), and is the author of one fic. Yay. . .  
  
Dimple- I thought Dimple deserves to be in this story. Right, pal? Right? Ri i i i ight?!  
  
ES-SO-HB- Greatest random author combo ever! Contains Holly, Suzi, and Eliane. WE LOVE RANDOM FICS! ! ! \m/-_-\m/  
  
Ever1- Paranoid and thinks she Lara Croft. Reads incredible amounts(wish I could do that). ESCAPE RULZ! ! ! liquid*crystal- has a busy as heck life. . . strange that fan fiction is torn from her  
  
MyOwnAntagonist- Actually pre-writes fics. Wow. That amazes me. i don't know anyone else like that. Good for you. You'll go far.  
  
Kelaal- Strange. . . I thought she was older by the way she writes fics. Proved me wrong. She's younger than me! ! !  
  
Kitty Rainbow- Yeah, we be up in Artemis Fowl Smart Groups and we have been having a little feud. To make it up to her, I'm giving her a big part in the story. I would've anyway, because she's an awesome fan fic writer. She's has a body guard too, Blue Yeti. . .  
  
Mingo- Also on Smart Groups. Doesn't have a bio so I don't know much about her. Ack. Oh well. HI!  
  
Nyghtvision- In my opinion (this is just MY opinion) she is the greatest writer I know. I look up to her SO much. I'm honored to be on the same web page as her.  
  
OceanChild- BIG Mouse fan. I miss Mouse. I LOVE MOUSE! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE?!?!?!  
  
PyRo4- Name's Frank. Cool.  
  
QueenTigris- When I was a baby fan fic writer, she critiqued me. She helped A LOT too. Thanks Tigris! I OWE YOU A LOT!  
  
slime frog- It's been a long journey, but slime frog made it. Congrats! I love your stories!  
  
spontaneuosxhumanxcombustion- Crazy. Doesn't get along with BFG very well. I guess the BFG flamed me too but I get over things.  
  
surrealallstar- MARI! She's got awesome quotes on her bio. Check em' out!  
  
The Book of Jude- I LOVE DISPENSER! Who doesn't?  
  
YoukaiTaiji-ya- I cheat. I know. This is not an Artemis Fowl fan fic writer but deserves credit. YoukaiTaiji-ya did write a Book crossover that I think EVERYONE should read! It has Artemis and Butler in it. They both go to Hogwarts and the people at Hogwarts are crazy. It is SO funny. I still can't get over it and I've read it a billion times! ! ! PLEASE READ! It's called Artemis Fowl and the School of Psychos! I GUARANTEE LAUGHS! ! !  
  
Lijahlover- Must like this story. She put it on her bio. Yay! She wants us to look around the school. READ ON!  
  
ArtemisFowlWorld-COOL! THEY LIKE MY WRITING! Neeto. Maybe I'm not a washed up boy-band of fanfiction.net, category: Artemis Fowl. YES!!!! Mage Kitty- Likes Evanescence with me! YAY! ! ! !  
  
And by the way, Fido is the guy that is the master of this site. It's kinda authority or something. I was asked this question. Here's your answer.  
  
ANYWAY! ON TO THE FIC! ! ! !  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Three: Adventurous Little Fan Fic Writers. . .  
  
"So what's the plan?" Big Friendly Walrus asked.  
  
"I say we go out after 8th hour, just so the teachers won't get suspicious," Spectra16 said.  
  
"And so that we won't miss you-know-what," Kitty Rainbow said.  
"Hey, you're coming with us?" slime frog asked.  
  
"Yeah. I need something else to do." Kitty sighed.  
  
"Well good! What's you-know-what?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
"Fan fic class."  
  
"Oh."  
  
SEVENTH HOUR-Back on the first day  
  
"Hello everyone. Don't think I don't know your names because I do. . .," Mr. Fido said mysteriously.  
  
"Really? Cool," YoukaiTaiji-ya said sarcastically.  
  
"SILENCE! I want you all on your best behavior or bad things will happen to good people!" Mr. Fido said strenly.  
  
"Good. Because I'm a bad person," Mingo said to make fun of him.  
  
"Do you think that's funny, Mingo?" Mr. Fido said, getting real close to Mingo's face.  
  
"N-n-no."  
  
"WELL GOOD! Things are going to change around here. Things are gonna change ALL around fanfiction.net, one fiction at a time!" Mr. Fido yelled.  
  
"That's kind of a waste of time. The Summer of the Monkeys only has one story," Mage Kitty joked.  
  
"DETENTION!"  
  
"Crap."  
  
"TWO MORE DETENTIONS!"  
  
"Poopie."  
  
"SIX MORE DETENTIONS!!!"  
  
"Can I go to the bathroom?" slime frog asked.  
"NO!"  
  
"EVIL!" Mage Kitty yelled at Fido.  
  
"YOU TOO!" Fido replied.  
  
EIGHTH HOUR-Present day  
  
"What's we learnin' t'day?" Spectra16 asked Ms. Koboi.  
  
"Music," Opal said obviously.  
  
"Der. . . . ," slime frog said.  
  
"What in music?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
"How to sing!" Opal said enthusiastically.  
  
"Woopie. . . ," Lijahlover said sarcastically. (There's quite a bit of sarcasm in all my stories.)  
  
Opal turns on some music. Eventually, they all recognize what it is and all groan.  
  
"Hit me baby, one more time!" Opal "sang". She was pretty awful. Off key and all.  
  
"HIT YOURSELF FOR BEING SO UGLY!" PyRo4 yelled. Opal ignored the mean comment.  
  
"Sing with me everyone! Or I will take away your xylophone privileges!"Opal said meekly, but trying to be strict.  
  
No one sang.  
  
"Fine!"  
  
AFTER SCHOOL  
  
"Where should we look first?" Kitty Rainbow asked for opinion.  
"I say the teacher's lounge!" Nyghtvision declared and raised her index finger.  
  
"It's cool in there! They have a "Love Book"," Spectra16 said.  
  
Everybody looked at her weird.  
  
"They have a what?!" ArtemisFowlWorld asked.  
  
"A "Love Book". It's where they write down the names of everyone that seems to be going out. My old school has one. I'm guessing every school has one."  
  
"What kind of Love Book would they have at this school? ? ? There's like . . . seven boys!" Nyghtvision exclaimed.  
  
"I'm a boy. I feel so used . . . ," PyRo4 said.  
  
"Yeah. I did a lot of assuming when I wanted to know if a certain fan fic writer was a girl or guy. I used to think slime frog was a guy," Spectra16 admitted.  
  
"I NEVER!" slime frog gasped in dramatization.  
  
"It's kinda odd. There isn't many guys on fanfiction.net," spontaneousxhumanxcombustion said.  
"Yeah. Hmm . . ."  
  
"Guys are less creative and don't do anything except read or hit on some random person!" Mingo spat.  
  
"Hey!" PyRo4 objected.  
  
"Let's get on with the search. We should definitely determine where we are going!" Kitty Rainbow said.  
  
"We should just walk around," Kelaal said.  
  
"But then we'd look weird if we ALL went together!" Dimple said.  
  
"Then we'll go in groups!" Kelaal yelled back.  
  
It was going to be a long night.  
  
surrealallstar snuck around with Nyghtvision, Bloody Dead Rose, Blue Yeti and Spectra16. Spectra16 had this spy theme going. She got close to the ground and spied around. Everyone thought she was crazy.  
  
"Get some sense into you, woman!" Blue Yeti yelled. Everyone hushed her.  
  
"What are we looking for?" Nyghtvision asked.  
  
"Clues, as to whom is behind this!" surrealallstar said.  
  
"Isn't it obvious that Mr. Fido is the dude from fanfiction.net?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
PyRo4, Kelaal, Kitty Rainbow, and spontaneousxhumanxcombustion walked around casually. No big there.  
  
"I say we go looking for Artemis! No one has seen him at all! There's no way that the teachers can't know him!" Kelaal said. Kitty Rainbow sighed.  
  
"He's probably not here. Come on! None of the teachers realize they are from the Artemis Fowl books! Fido probably spiked this!" Kitty Rainbow concluded.  
  
"If that's so, this story plot stinks!" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion yelled er. . . spontaneously.  
  
"What?!" PyRo4 asked with his eyes like this: O_o  
  
"Nothing."  
  
AleniaOceanstar, Artemis Fowl the Second (fan fic writer), Big Friendly Walrus, and slime frog paced one of the dorms.  
  
"Maybe we should look in the café!"AleniaOceanstar suggested.  
  
"What good what looking at spoiled food do us?" Artemis Fowl the Second(fan fic writer) asked.  
  
"CAN I PLEASE USE THE RESTROOM?!?!?!?!?!" slime frog yelled. Everyone agreed. it was time to let slime frog do her thing.  
  
"Thanks you guys," slime frog thanked. She walked into the bathroom and opened a stall door and saw something so . . . odd. It was no good. (And no, I'm not talking when people don't flush bloody tampons.)  
  
"Uh . . . there's a dead body in my stall!" slime frog complained. Everyone came running. And I mean EVERYONE came running. 


	4. A Day With A Blank Minded Artemis

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. Blah.  
  
A/N: THANK YOU REVIEWERS! ! ! I'm sorry but I'm not adding anymore fan fic writers. I'm really sorry. I might randomly just add someone but I won't add any more big parts! Sorry. Please be understanding!  
  
*gets pelted by rocks from angry fan fic writers* I SAID SORRY!  
  
And no, the dead body isn't Artemis. I CAN'T KILL HIM! THAT ISN'T CORRECT!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Four: A Day With A Blank-Minded Artemis  
  
"AH!" Big Friendly Walrus screamed.  
  
"Ew. . .," Artemis Fowl the Second (fan fic writer) commented.  
  
"This is crazy!" AleniaOceanstar yelled.  
  
"JUST TELL THE AUDIENCE WHO DIED!" slime frog screamed. Everyone looked at her weird.  
  
"It's . . . Fido . . .," Big Friendly Walrus stammered.  
  
"Why is he here though?" Artemis Fowl the Second asked.  
  
Everyone stopped. As if a dead guy wasn't surprising enough. Everyone slowly turned around to see a 13 year old boy, pale, black hair, frightening in fact. Artemis rubbed his chin as if he was thinking deeply. Everyone was astonished on how correct they all were to what Artemis really looked like. Artemis realized they were all starring.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" Artemis asked.  
  
"You-you-you . . . uh . . . you're . . . Artemis!" AleniaOceanstar stammered.  
  
"Yeah? I thought that much was obvious!"  
  
"Why is he here?!" Artemis Fowl the Second (fan fic writer) asked, pointing to Fido.  
  
"I don't know. I'm guessing he was killed. I heard a gunshot and came to where I figured it was," Artemis said.  
  
"Why is he . . . in the girls bathroom!?!?!?!" AleniaOceanstar asked.  
  
"I DON'T KNOW!" Artemis yelled in frustration.  
  
"Really? I would've figured you would. After all, you're the great Artemis Fowl!" slime frog mocked. She crossed her arms.  
  
"Trust me. I'm not going to know everything all the time."  
  
PyRo4, Kelaal, spontaneousxhumanxcombustion, and Kitty Rainbow went down to Fido's classroom of fan fiction. It was eerie but oh well.  
  
Kelaal looked through drawers and cabinets. There wasn't any too suspicious, except for the copies of stories in Artemis Fowl fan fiction. Every single one was there. Even the ones that were taken off. Kelaal read some of them while PyRo4 decided to go through Fido's computer files.  
  
Kitty Rainbow looked around the classroom itself. The desks were ordered in such a precise way, it was scary. And Fido's desk had so much stuff on it, like post-it notes and just notes in general. He must of had a hard time remembering things.  
  
spontaneousxhumanxcombustion looked out the window at the sky, getting darker the longer they stayed.  
  
"Shouldn't we worry about Fido coming in the classroom while we're here?" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion asked.  
  
"No worries. It says here on his schedule that he isn't supposed to get back from a staff meeting until 8," PyRo4 looked through Fido's schedule on his computer. spontaneousxhumanxcombustion couldn't help but wonder about what Fido would tell the teachers.  
  
Blue Yeti looked around, kind of scooping out the area around where their group was looking. Nyghtvision carefully opened the door to the teacher's lounge. No one was inside. surrealallstar dug through the papers in the room. Bloody Dead Rose turned on the t.v. Spectra16 went into the fridge. Blue Yeti rolled her eyes.  
  
Everyone was told to meet in the Rec. Room at 7:30. Everyone was there.  
  
"You guys found a dead guy? No fair, all we found was fan fiction!" Kelaal joked.  
  
"This isn't funny! He's Fido! He's a teacher! HE'S THE MASTER OF ALL OF FAN FICTION!" AleniaOceanstar yelled.  
  
"Good point."  
  
"We found Artemis too!" slime frog announced. Artemis gave a week fake smile.  
  
"Do you know who we are?" Nyghtvision asked.  
  
"I don't even know who I am, much less you!" Artemis confessed.  
"You seemed to know Fido!" Big Friendly Walrus pointed out.  
  
"Yeah. I know him."  
  
"Do you know any of the teachers?" Nyghtvision asked.  
  
"No. Why? Am I supposed to?"  
  
"One of them is your father!" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion said.  
  
"Really? Which one?"  
  
FACEPALM  
  
"Don't you remember anything? Jon Spiro? Holly Short? Juliet Butler?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
Artemis looked down at his shoes.  
  
"No. . ."  
  
"Speaking of which, I haven't seen Jon or Juliet!" AleniaOceanstar said.  
  
"I saw Juliet the first day of school. She helped me find my dorm," Spectra16 mentioned.  
  
"Yeah. I saw Jon too. He was an assistant coach for gym one day, with Butler," PyRo4 said.  
  
"What an unlikely couple. . . ," Kitty Rainbow said.  
  
"Can someone explain something to me?" Artemis asked.  
  
"What is it?" Nyghtvision asked.  
  
"Why am I here?"  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"We don't know. But we're going to try to find out," surrealallstar said. Artemis nodded.  
  
"We don't even know why we're here," slime frog admitted to him.  
  
NEXT DAY, FIRST HOUR  
  
"Act like you belong!" Nyghtvision told Artemis. Artemis sat up straight and put his nose in a book. Funny thing is, it's Physical Ed.  
  
"Good morning class!" Butler chirped. Very not like him.  
  
Everyone looked at Artemis to see if he recognized Butler. He didn't seem to.  
  
"We're going to the gym today-  
  
"NO!" Everyone yelled.  
  
"And that means . . . . 113 PUSH-UPS!"  
  
Everyone rolled their eyes.  
  
"Just do what he says and you'll be fine," Spectra16 told Artemis.  
  
"BUT I'M NOT PHYSICALLY PHYSICAL!" Artemis complained.  
  
"Get over it. I tried that with the last school. That excuse didn't get me anywhere."  
  
LATER  
  
"One hundred five, one hundred six, one hundred seven. . ." Butler called off. Most of the students passed out.  
  
"Why do we need this for fan fiction?" PyRo4 asked. Nyghtvision shrugged.  
  
"Conditioning."  
  
SECOND HOUR  
  
"Do you recognize him?" Kelaal passed this note to Artemis. Artemis grabbed his pencil and wrote back "No. Why?"  
  
THIRD HOUR  
  
"FINALLY! SOMEONE THAT KNOWS CALCULUS!" Root praised Frond for Artemis. Artemis just smiled and walked back to his seat. slime frog looked at him jealously.  
  
FOURTH HOUR  
  
"Does anyone have any ideas for our new project? Unix didn't seem to turn out," Foaly asked.  
  
"How about the Sims?" Kitty Rainbow asked. Foaly glared.  
  
"SOMETHING EDUCATIONAL! ! !"  
  
"That's educational . . ."  
  
"Anyone else have a suggestion?"  
  
"How about the destruction of Windows?" Artemis asked. Foaly's ears perked up.  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
FIFTH HOUR  
  
"Disclaimers are simple. All you do is tell your readers that you do not own what you are writing about. It's simple yet people make it harder for themselves," Holly told. dijip cowered.  
  
LUNCH  
  
"Is this school anything like Saint Bartleby's?" Nyghtvision asked and nudged Artemis.  
  
"Saint Bartleby's?" Artemis asked, almost choking on the school food.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"What's that?" Artemis asked. Nyghtvision shrugged.  
  
"Whoever mind wiped you did a good job!" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion said.  
  
Then it hit everyone.  
  
Someone from LEP must have gotten Artemis and everyone else! But who? Foaly, Holly, and Root were wiped themselves! Who could've done something like this? And why was Fido dead? 


	5. The Plot Goes On A Slim Fast Diet And Ge...

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16  
  
Disclaimer: Yo. Peace! I don't own Artemis Fowl. Ner. . .  
  
A/N: I SAID NO ONE ELSE WAS BEING ADDED TO THE STORY! NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BUTTER ME UP, I AIN'T GIVEN IN!  
  
Kitty Rainbow: Ain't, ain't a word.  
  
A/N: DON'T CARE! ! ! !  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Five: The Plot Goes On A Slim Fast Plan (And Gets Less Thick)  
  
"What?!" Asked Artemis.  
  
"You've been mind wiped!" Mingo exclaimed. Artemis stands silently and blinks.  
  
"What?" Artemis asks.  
  
"You- Oh never mind!" ArtemisFowlWorld concludes, not bothering with explaining everything.  
  
"I feel so . . . dumb," Artemis looked down at his food and sighed. Everyone realized that he didn't like the feeling. Heck, I don't know anyone who likes that feeling.  
  
"Did you not feel dumb before?" dijip asks. Everyone glares at dijip, whom was not helping Artemis feel better.  
  
"Actually, that could be a good point. What if Artemis really isn't used to feeling dumb? If that's true, then the mind wipe would've happened recently!" The Book of Jude figured out.  
  
"Well, obviously. He couldn't have been mind wiped for no reason. That reason would have been this school for us fan fic writers. What if it was Fido but he just isn't here to share that with us?" YoukaiTaiji-ya said.  
  
"Then who killed Fido and why?" Spectra16 asked. Nothing made sense. They were all at the end of their line.  
  
"What was Fido killed with again?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
"Um, I think it was a knife," slime frog guessed, since she was the first to see him.  
  
"*gasp* Did we ever move him from the stall?!"OceanChild asked.  
  
"N-no. We didn't."  
  
"Smart," Artemis said. Everyone glared at him.  
  
"I wonder what happened to him. Maybe the teachers didn't want us to know about him," Kelaal said.  
  
"Why wouldn't they want us to know though?" Nyghtvision asked.  
  
SIXTH HOUR  
  
"Did everyone have a lovely lunch hour?" Cudgeon droned. Some people nodded. Others looked away. "That's great. Today we're reading Shakespeare."  
  
"NOOOOO! ! !" Spectra16 cringed in fear, she had too much of Shakespeare for one life time.  
  
"Yes. Take out your text book."  
  
Everyone notices that Artemis is tipping in his chair.  
  
"Mr. uh . . . who are you?" Cudgeon asked Artemis.  
  
"Artemis."  
  
"Mr. Artemis, please put your chair flat on the ground," Cudgeon said in a mono tone.  
  
"Make me," Artemis said snotty. (Everyone: O_o?)  
  
BEFORE SEVENTH HOUR  
  
"Artemis, you are crazy! You don't talk to an evil mastermind like that!" Blue Yeti said.  
  
"I AM an evil mastermind!" Artemis retaliated.  
  
"Hey, you are? I mean, you remembered?" Blue Yeti asked. Artemis thought about it.  
  
"I suppose I did . . ."  
  
"Do you remember who you were incorporated with while being an evil mastermind?" Blue Yeti asked. Artemis shook his head. "Oh."  
  
"Maybe he wasn't mind wiped. Maybe his memory was suppressed," Nyghtvision guessed.  
  
"Yeah, and maybe my daddy'll come home and my momma'll stop drinkin'," Artemis mocked. Kitty Rainbow looked down at her feet while walking.  
  
"I don't like Artemis this way. He's all . . . ghetto. It's not kosher. Can't we just ask Holly to wipe him and then try convince him he's the Artemis Fowl we all know and love?" Kitty Rainbow asked.  
  
"Maybe we should ask for help from a teacher," Blue Yeti said. Everyone nodded.  
  
SEVENTH HOUR  
  
Everyone patiently waited for their new teacher, because Fido wasn't there anymore. They all waited silently for about seven minutes. And then, a beautiful blonde woman walked in with a brief case. She did not acknowledge anyone, even like Cudgeon when class began.  
  
She started writing something on the board, of which no one really knew what because it was in Gnomish. Quite a few students had memorized the Gnomish language but they had all forgotten it.  
  
She screeched the chalk and a few students flinched. Artemis was curious. Then after she was done writing, she turned around.  
  
"I'm Ms. Anonymity. Mr. Fido will not be joining us for the rest of the semester. He's on a vacation."  
  
A few people rolled their eyes.  
  
"Are there any questions?" She asked. She gave everyone about two seconds before she moved on.  
  
"Good. I don't care what you were learning before but I'm teaching you how to write a proper fan fiction! A lot of your crap has been posted and it's all very unnecessary! In fact, the majority of it is terrible. I guarantee all of you will have learned something when you leave this class!" She said sternly. Then she smiled a bit evilly. "Now are there any questions?"  
  
AFTER CLASS  
  
"I'm not asking for help from that arsehole!" Kitty Rainbow yelled.  
  
"She doesn't understand the true nature of people and their own way of writing!" dijip said.  
  
"Doesn't make her any less hot though," PyRo4 said. Everyone squinted.  
  
"I beg to differ," Artemis said. "I like brunets."  
  
"Demi Moore is a brunet," PyRo4 said randomly.  
  
"She's really nice," Artemis said, also looking very unamused.  
  
"CAN WE GET OFF THIS?!?!?! WE WERE JUST GIVEN THE TEACHER FROM HELL! ! ! LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT!" Nyghtvision yelled.  
  
"Quiet in the halls!" Foaly called out fro his classroom. Nyghtvision rolled her eyes.  
  
"Does anyone have a better idea than setting ourselves on fire?" The Book of Jude asked.  
"Don't play with matches?" Slime Frog said sarcastically.  
  
"Are there any teachers we can trust?" Artemis asked.  
  
"What an oxymoron! A trust worthy teacher! That's a good one!" surrealallstar pretending to think it was funny.  
  
"You gotta remember something in order for us to help! Or to find out what's going on!" Blue Yeti told Artemis. Artemis searched his memory but came up with a blank.  
  
"I know I'm Artemis," Artemis said.  
  
"Does he even know his last name?" liquid*crystal asked aggravated.  
  
"Do you?" Blue Yeti asked him.  
  
"I wish I did," Artemis frowned.  
  
"IT'S FOWL! FOWL THE SECOND! ! !" Blue Yeti raged. Artemis didn't know barely anything! It was troublesome. Artemis stopped walking.  
  
"Fowl . . . is that what you said?" Artemis asked. Blue Yeti nodded, sensing maybe Artemis did know something.  
"Yeah. . .," Blue Yeti said.  
  
"I have the same name as him!" Artemis pointed to Artemis Fowl the Second, the fan fic writer. Everyone shrugged. "Why?"  
  
Everyone realized he had no idea he was a book.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL IN THE REC ROOM  
  
"Three whole books are based on your life! You're the main character! You, Butler, and Holly had all these adventures! And all the teachers are characters from the books!" Blue Yeti told Artemis. Artemis nodded curiously. "Don't you remember?" Artemis shook his head. Blue Yeti sighed. "Does anyone have the books?"  
  
PyRo4, surrealallstar, and Kitty Rainbow raised their hands.  
  
"I have the first one," PyRo4 said.  
  
"I have the second," mentioned surrealallstar.  
  
"Oh. I have the second too," Kitty Rainbow said.  
"Does anyone have the third?" Blue Yeti asked. None said anything.  
  
"Maybe we should show him the first before the rest of them," PyRo4 said. Blue Yeti nodded. PyRo4 went to get the book.  
  
"Now what?" slime frog asked, after PyRo4 left.  
  
"We wait and see if Artemis will remember anything."  
  
AT PYRO'S DORM ROOM  
  
PyRo4 searched his bag of stuff and ended up throwing his clothes all over the floor. It wasn't there. He could swear he packed it. He felt nervous and wished he had it with him. Shaking, he left to back to the Rec. Room.  
  
He ran down the dark hallway. The halls were dark after school hours. Well, they did have light but not as much as during school.  
  
While running, he saw one of the teachers coming down the hall. He was almost to the Rec. Room but stopped running so it wouldn't look so suspicious. He walked quickly and realized the teacher was Ms. Anonymity. His lucky day. He didn't bother to stop and talk even if she was pretty. She was also evil. But she stopped him.  
  
"You shouldn't run in the hall," Ms. Anonymity said. She walked closer to him.  
  
"I'm sorry. I was just . . . in a hurry," he said, and tried to walk again but she stopped him by walking in front of him.  
  
"What was the hurry?" She asked.  
  
"Um . . . my friends are waiting for me."  
  
"Oh. Then you'd better get going," She said, glaring at him evilly. He started walking and after a while, looked back. She kept starring at him until he was out of sight.  
  
REC ROOM  
  
PyRo4 decided not to say anything about Ms. Anonymity because he was frightened by her. But he confessed to not have the book.  
  
"Are you sure you brought it?" Blue Yeti asked. He nodded, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Maybe Fido took it. Does anyone else have the book?" Blue Yeti asked. No one said anything. "Surreal, go get yours."  
  
AT SURREALALLSTAR'S DORM ROOM  
  
"What a mess!" surrealallstar complained. PyRo's clothes were all over. She stepped on them, mad at him, and opened her bag of stuff. She went to a pocket that she kept her books in and it wasn't there. Her 'Holes' book was though. It made her suspicious. Maybe someone was trying to erase Artemis Fowl from everyone. It was weird.  
  
AT THE REC ROOM  
  
"YOU DON'T HAVE YOURS EITHER?!?!?!" Blue Yeti yelled. surrealallstar cowered. "Sorry, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"  
  
"Maybe they don't want me to know about my past," Artemis said. Artemis smirked. "But you can tell me what I need to know."  
  
"I guess we could."  
  
"Maybe it would be better if we did this later. Dinner is gonna be served soon. And if the teachers are behind this, this isn't exactly the place to be talking to Artemis," Nyghtvision said. Blue Yeti nodded.  
  
"Sleep over . . . ," slime frog hinted.  
  
PYRO'S DORM ROOM  
  
"Why did it have to be MY room?! I need my beauty sleep! I can't stand sleep overs!" PyRo4 complained.  
  
"Live with it," Blue Yeti tossed a pair of PyRo4's underwear at his face. PyRo4 caught it but wasn't happy. He cleaned up his tossed clothes.  
  
"And live with the fact that Artemis gets your bed!" Blue Yeti told PyRo4, whom wasn't any happier by that but didn't complain.  
  
"Two to a bed!" slime frog yelled. "I GET ONE OF THE GUYS!" (Everyone: -_-)  
  
"You can sleep on the floor!" Nyghtvision said, plopping her stuff one the top bunk, over Artemis', which was originally PyRo4's.  
  
"We can only fit like, four on the floor," Spectra16 said.  
  
"Two more then . . . ," Nyghtvision scratched her chin.  
  
"How bout' Ever1 and Kitty Rainbow?" Blue Yeti took charge.  
  
"But my back hurts every time I sleep on the floor!" Kitty Rainbow pouted.  
  
"It's only for one night!"  
  
"Who am I sleeping with?" Nyghtvision asked.  
  
"You make it sound so . . . dirty!" Ever1 said. Blue Yeti raised her hand.  
  
"Oh good. I thought I'd have to sleep with The Book of Jude," Nyghtvision breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Hey!" The Book of Jude yelled.  
  
"You can share one with me," Spectra16 sympathized.  
  
LATER  
  
"Okay, you already know you're an evil mastermind. But you're also a millionaire. And your father is supposedly dead and your mother is depressed," Kitty Rainbow went first. It kinda shocked Artemis.  
  
"Maybe we should slow the pace," Blue Yeti said. " This is all a little sudden for him."  
  
"Okay. So, because you're rich, you have a body guard, whose name is Butler," Kitty Rainbow is interupted by Artemis.  
  
"But shouldn't Butler be . . . a butler? Instead of a body guard? I mean, if he was a body guard, shouldn't his name be-," Artemis was cut off.  
  
"ARTEMIS! THIS ISN'T A STORY! IT'S YOUR LIFE! YOU CAN'T FIX WHAT ISN'T BROKEN!" Kitty Rainbow yelled.  
  
"Maybe I should take it from here," Blue Yeti said to Kitty Rainbow, whom hugged her pillow closer.  
"Okay. So Butler, that's his name, is your body guard. No questions! And he helps you because you are not physically able! And his sister, Juliet Butler, is your mother's body guard. Now, your mother is very depressed because she lost her husband . . . but not really." Artemis tilted his head.  
  
"You see, he was on business and his ship sank because the Mafia wanted him for ransom. But that's the next book! So, he's missing anyway. And you are on your own with the Butler's because your mother just doesn't care." Artemis swallowed hard.  
  
"You decided that fairies are real and go to find them with Butler."  
  
"What about his sister?" Artemis asked.  
  
"She's at your house. *clears throat* Excuse me. MANSION! And you actually do capture a fairy. Her name is Holly Short. And you hold her for ransom, which happens to be fairy gold." Artemis nods, intrigued by his own inner intelligence.  
  
"And you actually win against the fairies. All the odds were against you, too. It was pretty cool," Blue Yeti adds. Artemis smiles. surrealallstar finds Artemis' behavior much more different than they know him. He actually smiled.  
  
"And in the second book, you go to save your father but need the help of the fairies. And the fairies need your help. So it kinda works hand in hand. But you do get your father back. And in the third book, you use fairy technology to make a super computer and it gets stolen by this guy . . . um . . . his name was Jon but I can't remember his last name . . . ," Blue Yeti tried to remember. For some reason he couldn't.  
  
"Spiro?" Artemis asked.  
  
"Yeah, that's it! And he- wait. YOU REMEMBERED!" 


	6. Crazy Day

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16 (you never would've guessed, by this genius. . .)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the authors or characters in this story.  
  
A/N: You actually did it normal this time!  
  
Disclaimer: Yay for me. . .  
  
A/N: This is a special edition of this story. It's a little side story to go with it. It isn't really necessary to the story but enjoy it anyway!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Six: Crazy Day  
  
FIRST HOUR  
  
"Good morning, class!" Butler came in the classroom, extremely happy and wearing a pink tutu. The whole entire class raised an eyebrow. "How is everyone on this lovely Friday morning?"  
  
Everyone was too mortally afraid to answer that.  
  
"Today we are going outside and doing gymnastics!"  
  
"OH JESUS!" Blue Yeti yelled.  
  
"Don't say the Lord's name in vain!" Butler said.  
  
"@!*&$%!" Blue Yeti swore. Butler improvised.  
  
"All right! Everyone out side!"  
  
IN SCHOOL GROUNDS BACK YARD AREA  
  
"Everyone, do a tumble!" Butler chirped. No one moved. They were all starring at Butler's strange behavior.  
  
"Come on! Believe in your selves!"  
  
"Last time I tried that *quieter* I ended up hurting myself," Spectra16 mumbled.  
  
"What was that Spectra16?" Butler asked politely.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"I WANNA GO HOME NOW!" slime frog yelled and frowned sadly.  
  
"You cannot!" Butler smiled happily.  
  
"Can't we do 113 push-ups today?" Blue Yeti begged.  
  
SECOND HOUR  
  
"Twenty-one bottles of beer on the wall! Twenty-uh . . . seven bottles of beer! TAKE ONE DOWN, pass it aroun'! And now there's twenty eighty bottles of vodka!" Mr. Fowl Sr. 'sang' and swung a bottle around, drunk. Everyone starred at him.  
  
"I'm embarrassed," Artemis put his face in his hands.  
  
"VODKA FOR EVERYONE!" Artemis Sr. yelled.  
  
The principal came down the hall, since the song was heard.  
  
"You're coming with me, Fowl!" The principal grabbed Mr. Fowl by the arm and dragged him out.  
  
"WAIT! I HAVEN'T GIVEN THE LESSON YET! AND I HAVEN'T FLASHED ANYONE YET!" Artemis Sr. was heard yelling down the hall.  
  
"I'm your sub!" Juliet waved vigorously.  
  
"What are we doing today?" slime frog asked.  
  
"We're making potions from Harry Potter!" Juliet smiled sweetly.  
  
"This ought to be interesting," QueenTigris sat back in her chair.  
  
"First a bit of toenails, a lizard tail, a few homework assignments, Madam Ko's old sneakers, Fido's artistic licence, and a dash of salt!" Juliet says and does at the same time. It blows up in her face. Her face ends up burning black from ash.  
  
"What kinda potion is it?" The Book of Jude asks.  
  
"I dunno."  
  
THIRD HOUR  
  
"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!" Root sang and danced around the room.  
  
The rest of the class period consisted of cutting out red hearts for his dear Opal.  
  
Self explanatory.  
  
FOURTH HOUR  
  
"Today, WE HACK THE PENTAGON!" Foaly declared.  
  
"YAY!"  
  
"Okay, first go to the homepage, then click "log in". The put in "foaly" as a login name and "ilikespoofingyouguys" for a password!" Foaly yelled.  
  
Everyone was in.  
  
"NOW EXPLORE CHILDREN!" Foaly yelled.  
  
BEFORE FIFTH HOUR  
  
"I kinda like our situation," Kitty Rainbow said.  
  
"Who wouldn't?" Nyghtvision replied.  
  
"I got to see inside the floor plans of the Pentagon! That's cool!" PyRo4 exclaimed.  
  
FIFTH HOUR  
  
Everyone came into class, to the sight of a Goth Holly Short.  
  
Also very self explanatory.  
  
LUNCH  
  
"It's the first day our food has been decent!" Spectra16 cheered for the Chinese food.  
  
"What a waste," Foaly said, "FOOD FIGHT!"  
  
Food went everywhere.  
  
"YEAH!"  
"HEY! EVERYONE STOP!" Ms. Anonymity yelled, with oriental food all over her. No one did stop.  
  
Never give up.  
  
SIXTH HOUR  
  
"The game is called pie the teacher. Guess what you do?" Cudgeon asked in a mono tone.  
  
"Um, you pie the teacher?" slime frog guessed.  
  
"YOU ARE CORRECT!" Cudgeon got out of mono tone and gave everyone a pie.  
  
"It's a good day," Mingo said.  
  
SEVENTH HOUR  
  
AHA! You think I'd make such a good story and then kill it with seventh hour? Yeah, I would've but everyone skipped that class period and went to TP the trees in the front of the Academy.  
  
EIGHTH HOUR  
  
"That was a lot of fun!" Opal exclaimed, talking about the TP. Everyone was sweating from it.  
  
"Yeah," A few weary people came out with.  
  
"I have good news," Opal said. Everyone new it wasn't.  
  
"We're going on a field trip!" A few people perked up.  
  
"TO AN EVANESCENCE CONCERT!"  
  
And life was good. 


	7. Doppleganger

The Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. Yada yada yada. . .  
  
A/N: Sorry. I had to add my trademark randomness into this story somehow. Back to normal of course. And I'm sorry I haven't had a chapter in a while. I was grounded for like three weeks.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Seven: Dopleganger  
  
It was a rainy Saturday, the first Saturday that anyone had here at the school of fan fiction. Everyone was stuck inside. And the teachers were stuck inside with them. There were no classes today. Which gave everyone a whole lot of time to spy around.  
  
PyRo4 peeked his head out of the doorway of his dorm. Everyone else was knocked out because they had stayed up until 4AM talking to Artemis. He, for one, had gone to bed at ten. He casually walked toward the breakfast buffet. He still had his piggy slippers on and his pajamas (Yes, not all guys go to bed naked). It was around eight o'clock. He was completely refreshed.  
  
PyRo4 met Foaly in the buffet. Foaly was covering his plate with fruits and vegetables.  
  
"Good morning, Pyro4," Foaly chirped. PyRo4 sighed.  
  
"Hi," PyRo4 replied. Foaly and him sat down at a table.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Foaly asked him. PyRo4 considered asking Foaly about what was going on, but he decided that it was a bad idea.  
  
"Not really," PyRo4 said suspiciously.  
  
"What do you mean, "Not really"?" Foaly asked.  
  
"Well, I guess I do have a problem but I don't think you could help me with it.  
  
"Really? Is that so . . . tell me anyway," Foaly said, putting down a carrot he had been chewing on.  
  
"Um . . . we . . . uh . . . everyone in this school knows."  
  
"They know what?" Foaly asked, cocking his head to the side.  
  
"Everyone here likes Artemis Fowl," PyRo4 said and bit his lip.  
  
"Well, that's good. He's a nice teacher," Foaly nodded and bit into another carrot.  
  
"No. Not that Artemis. His son," PyRo4 said, regretting he had brought it up.  
  
"His son? How would you know him?" Foaly asked.  
  
"There's a series of books about him," PyRo4 said.  
  
"What?!" Foaly gasped.  
  
"You're in them too. All these adventures and not even Artemis remembers them," PyRo4 exclaimed. Foaly looked like he had seen a ghost. "And you were the comic relief in the books. You were funny and a techie. Which explains the Computer courses. And you had this tin foil hat." Foaly was surprised. "Don't you remember?"  
  
"Yes. I do. I just did anyway. Wow. It just flooded back to me. I was . . . locked in my own environment . . . by Koboi . . . that bitch!" Foaly swore. PyRo4 snickered.  
"You got your revenge though," PyRo4 reminded. Foaly smiled.  
  
"I did," Foaly smiled. He dumped out his food, still a bit dazed. He stood in the doorway, looking back at PyRo4. "Where's Ms. Anonymity?"  
  
"Um . . Probably in her classroom."  
  
Foaly then walked out of the room and towards her room. PyRo4 questioned this.  
  
PyRo4 ran towards his dorm and busted in the door.  
  
"Foaly remembered!" He shouted, out of breath.  
  
All the girls were playing BS.  
  
"What?!" Nyghtvision couldn't believe.  
  
"I was talking to him during breakfast and he remembered!"  
  
"Are you serious?" Artemis asked.  
"YES!" He yelled, agitated and tired. "He's going to talk to Ms. Anonymity!"  
  
"Wow," slime frog said.  
  
"Maybe we should listen in on their conversation," Blue Yeti exclaimed.  
  
"Do you have a death wish or are you always like this?" Kitty Rainbow asked sarcastically. Blue Yeti glared at her.  
  
"Who should go then?" Ever1 asked. Mingo gingerly raised her hand.  
  
"I will."  
  
(Mission: Impossible theme plays)  
  
Mingo got in her spy attire (which was black, black, and more black) and snuck around, making sure she wouldn't attract ANY attention. She got to the room where Ms. Anonymity taught and she pressed her back to the wall right next to the door. The door was closed too but she could still hear Foaly and Opal shouting at each other. She pulled off a leather glove and pulled out a small tape recorder of which she turned on and listened.  
  
"YOU DID THIS! ! !" Foaly yelled.  
  
"I swear it wasn't to hurt. Fido told me to do it," Ms. Anonymity back away from him.  
  
"NO! You don't use my equipment against me! It's wrong! Mind wiping is dangerous!" Foaly yelled.  
  
"Fido told me it was completely fool proof."  
  
"Well duh, it's fool proof! No one has any memory left! I can tell every teacher here about what happened and they will have an uprising! They are not going to stand for this! I'M not going to stand for this! All those wonderful memories are suppressed now!"  
  
Mingo bit her lip. Hopefully Foaly wouldn't come busting out of the door. Then at that moment or her hoping he wouldn't, he did.  
  
"What the?" Foaly asked as he saw Mingo with her eyes popping out and a worried look on her face.  
  
"She's been listening in on us!" Ms. Anonymity pointed at Mingo.  
"She has a right to! Everyone does! I'm telling on you!" Foaly teased and led Mingo away. Ms. Anonymity did nothing except go back to her walk-in closet of her room and open the doors. Artemis looked at her, paler than usual and very hungry.  
  
"Well they know," Ms. Anonymity said to Artemis, bound were his feet and hands, with a gag in his mouth. She pulled it out.  
  
"Good. They deserve to go home and stop listening to you blab on about how stories are supposed to be!" Artemis spat.  
  
"Wrong answer!" She said and closed the doors. Artemis took both feet that were tied together and kicked the door.  
  
Ms. Anonymity thought about this for a moment and decided to let him free. She opened the doors again and let the bindings loose. Artemis said nothing and quickly left.  
  
"Yeah. You think you've won. But what will everyone think when there's two of you," Ms. Anonymity smirked evilly.  
  
Artemis ran down the hall. Physical work didn't appeal to him but he needed to catch up with Foaly.  
  
"Foaly!" Artemis called to him. Foaly turned around.  
  
"Hey pal. Long time, no recognize," Foaly joked. Mingo laughed.  
  
"This is important!" Artemis barely got out before they opened the door to the dorm.  
  
"You're back!" Nyghtvision greeted. Everyone was playing cards again.  
  
"You!" Artemis said angrily, laying down his cards. Artemis stood behind Foaly and looked into the eyes of himself.  
  
"You!" The other Artemis said, glaring at him. He then lunged at the one playing cards.  
  
"WTF?!?!?!" Blue Yeti yelled, pulling one Artemis off the other.  
  
"IMPOSTER!" One Artemis said, brushing himself off. The Artemis that charged at him was held back by Book of Jude and PyRo4.  
  
"Oh look at you! You call me an imposter! You take my health, my name, and my fortune, you little-," Artemis angrily tried to work his way out of Book of Jude and PyRo4's hands.  
"Why are there two of them?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
"Wha? The look so similar. Except that other one looks sickly," Ever1 said about the one that just entered.  
  
"It's what a doplganger will do to you," the Artemis that was being restrained said.  
  
"Doplganger?! What?! What's that?" Nicole asked.  
  
"It's like a clone, but it's the dark side of yourself," The other Artemis said, glaring at the one that was being restrained.  
  
"Are you?" Kitty Rainbow asked.  
  
"Of course not! He is!" Artemis pointed a finger at the other. Artemis stopped struggling. PyRo4 and Book of Jude stopped holding him.  
  
"Then why am I sick?" Artemis asked.  
  
"Because I'm the real Artemis and I've already been sick and you're losing the battle between our bodies and the shadow!" Artemis exclaimed.  
  
"Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm not the real Artemis," He said.  
Everyone was getting dizzy, looking at an image of the same person fighting with the other.  
  
"You are losing because of it." 


	8. The End of This Story

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16 (a.k.a Made in Taiwani)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl or it's characters. If you are liable to sue, I will come to your home and threaten you with my spork until you decide suing is not in your current interest. I will, I will.  
  
A/N: One of my reviewers said I spelled doppelganger wrong. And well, my spell check right now says that the reviewers spelling is also wrong, along with my version. So, I'll just have it their way and spell it like how I did above.  
  
Thank you all for reviewing my story. I've had guesses to whose killed Fido and why Artemis and everyone lost their minds. It's been pretty interesting as to who thinks what. And well, I haven't gotten anyone that was correct yet. Maybe I should give you all a hint that only some fan fic writers will understand.  
  
Everyone knows the new Fan Fic teacher. You know, Ms. Anonymity? Yeah. . . anyone reminded of her? Our dear, dear Anonymity. She's been a thorn in a bunch of our sides but has somehow disappeared from flamer land. I wonder what happened to her but no signs of activity has been shown.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Eight: The End of This Story  
  
"Well, which one of you is the real Artemis?" slime frog asked.  
  
"Question us! I'm sure I'll answer specific questions correctly! I am the real Artemis you know!" One Artemis said, the pale and sickly one. The other Artemis smirked.  
  
"Will the real Artemis Fowl, please stand up, please stand up, please stand up!" Big Friendly Walrus rapped (not raped). Everyone turned away.  
  
"You ask questions, Blue Yeti," Alyt said.  
  
"WHAT?! THE AUTHOR WANTS ME TO ASK THE QUESTIONS WHEN SHE ALSO MADE ME FORGET JON'S LAST NAME?!?!?!" Blue Yeti outraged.  
  
"Um . . . yeah," Spectra16 said. (-_-)  
  
"Okay. Artemis er . . . number one, what's your favorite color?" Blue Yeti asked the healthier looking one.  
  
"Do you know that answer?" Kitty Rainbow whispered to Blue Yeti. Blue Yeti shrugged.  
  
"EVERYBODY! HOLD UP! This is not a proper interrogation! I will ask the first three questions!" Nyghtvision spoke loudly. "Now, Artemis One, what is your name?"  
  
"Artemis Fowl the Second," he answered.  
  
"What is your quest?"  
  
"To seek rare fortunes," he replied.  
  
"What's your favorite color?" She asked. (a.i.a Monty Python and the Holy Grail)  
  
"Black," he answered.  
  
"Carry on," she said. Then turned to the other Artemis. "Artemis two, what is your name?"  
  
"Sir Artemis Fowl the Second, son of Artemis Fowl Senior," he answered.  
  
"What is your quest?" She asked, crossing her arms.  
  
"To seek the Holy Grail," he said.  
  
"How many miles per hour do sparrows fly?" She asked.  
  
"Depends. What kind of sparrows are we talking here?" Artemis asked. Nyghtvision scratched her chin.  
  
"I like this one better," She pointed. Blue Yeti gently pushed her out of the way.  
  
"Okay. My turn. Who is your councilor?" Blue Yeti asked the first one.  
  
"Mr. Po," he answered.  
  
"Wrong. It's Dr. Po. What is the symbol for the Gnommish letter 'A'?"  
  
"Um . . . I don't remember. It's on my computer," He stuttered.  
  
"A dragonfly!" The other Artemis said.  
  
"Very good. How about E?"  
  
"E is a blank. There is no symbol for E," The second Artemis said.  
  
"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS THAT THIS IS THE REAL ARTEMIS YET?!?!?!" slime frog yelled.  
  
"Yeah. So what is he doing here?" Blue Yeti asked and pointed to the imposter.  
  
"I'm not telling you!" the doppELganger said. Book of Jude grabbed his collar and glared at him. "Okay. I'll talk."  
  
"So, why are you here?" Foaly asked the fake Artemis.  
  
"Ms. Anonymity made me. She found out that I was existent, built up my strength by captivating the real Artemis and making him my shadow, instead of the other way around. You see, everyone in the Artemis Fowl books were easy to mind wipe. Artemis had those contact lenses that Foaly installed. No one knew it, but the technology in the contacts was resistant to mind wiping."  
  
"Yeah. I knew that. I figured something like that would happen," Foaly spoke in a quiet tone.  
  
"So she kept him in a confined area while I walked around and interacted with you guys. I pretended to not remember. But I couldn't stand you people not being able to remember Jon's last name," The doppelganger looked at Blue Yeti. Blue Yeti glared at Spectra16.  
  
"Admit is, I saved your plot," Blue Yeti told Spectra16. Spectra16 shrugged.  
  
"So, what did Ms. Anonymity have to do with any of this?" Foaly asked.  
  
"She hates Artemis Fowl fan fic. She's a big flamer in the Artemis Fowl fan fic site. She thinks it's her way or no way," the doppelganger said. Artemis looked intently at his counter part.  
  
"Then, what happened to Fido?" Nyghtvision asked.  
  
"The doppelganger killed him," AleniaOceanstar spoke up. Everyone turned toward her.  
  
"How so?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
"Fido was killed by a knife. The doppelganger said he heard a gunshot," AleniaOceanstar said.  
  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING BEFORE?!?!?!" Blue Yeti yelled.  
  
"Plot thickness," AleniaOceanstar said and winked at Spectra16 whom winked back.  
  
"This is really confusing," slime frog said.  
  
"Did Ms. Anonymity tell you to kill him?" Blue Yeti asked.  
  
"Yes. She wanted to be in charge of Fandom. It must have been one of those world domination dreams, ya' know?" the fake Artemis said.  
  
"We should confront her," Foaly said.  
  
"We should confront everyone! All the teachers still have no idea that this is happening!" Alyt said.  
  
MR. BUTLER'S ROOM  
  
"Hey, Butler, do you have an 'I' on your chest? Cause if you don't know why, I do," PyRo4 said.  
  
"What? How would you know I have it?" Butler asked.  
  
"It happened a while ago. Back when you could remember," PyRo4 began.  
  
MR. FOWL'S ROOM  
  
"You might not remember me, but I'm your son, Arty," Artemis told his father. Artemis Senior's eyes widened. He did recognize him.  
  
MR. ROOT'S ROOM  
  
"Hey, Root. Why do you smoke fungus cigars?" slime frog asked.  
  
"I like them?" Root guessed.  
"Oh come on. When did you have your first one?" slime frog asked. Root tried to recall that time. And he did.  
  
MS. SHORT'S ROOM  
  
"Hey, Short, remember that one time you got your finger cut off and it flew into Root's eye?" dijip asked. Short did recall such a thing happening.  
  
"Yeah. What about it?" She asked.  
  
"Who did it?" dijip asked, grinning. She paused for a few seconds.  
  
"Artemis . . ."  
  
KOBOI'S ROOM  
  
"Why do I have to be here?" Cudgeon asked, looking at Koboi. Koboi shrugged.  
  
"Do you recognize each other past the time you've been teaching?" Blue Yeti asked.  
"Not really," Koboi said, looking at Cudgeon funny. She thought he was downright ugly. Then again, everyone did.  
  
"You tried to take over the world together!" Blue Yeti gasped.  
  
"Really? She's hot!" Cudgeon said. Opal slapped him. Then Cudgeon remembered her.  
  
"Hey! You beat me up after Artemis . . . that little creep! He ruined my plans! He's just a mudboy!" Cudgeon suddenly remembered every bad memory of him and everything else that was suppressed. Opal still didn't remember anything.  
  
"What did I do?" She asked meekly.  
  
"YOU RUINED MY LIFE! ! !" Cudgeon grabbed her neck and started strangling her. Yeah, eventually, she remembered.  
  
MS. ANONYMITY'S ROOM  
  
"Can I help you?" Ms. Anonymity asked, everyone piled in the room.  
  
"You killed Fido!" Foaly accused.  
  
"No, he did!" She said pointing at Artemis. He was looking a little better. You know, returning to his natural pasty color.  
  
"Your Artemis even admitted to us that he was told by you to kill Fido!" Blue Yeti said. Ms. Anonymity gritted her teeth.  
  
"Why did you do it?" Artemis asked.  
  
"I hate everyone's stupid fan fics on this site! THEY ARE TERRIBLE! No one has a writer's potential here! No one! Out of . . . how many are there?" Ms. Anonymity whispered to Spectra16.  
  
"About 368," Spectra16 said.  
  
"Yes. Out of about 368 people, not one of their stories was worth it! I knew if I posted a good story on this site, people would flame me, just for revenge! But I have the perfect talent! Do you have any idea how painful it is to see all these 30 minute plots seen on such a site?! It's awful! People have no sense at all!" Ms. Anonymity spoke.  
  
"Then why are these fics so terrible?" Fido asked, as he came up behind everyone. Everyone was surprised to see him.  
"What? You're still alive?!" Ms. Anonymity gasped.  
  
"Yes. Thanks to the doppelganger, who has been working against you all this time," Fido said, ruffling the doppelganger's hair.  
  
"But! ARTEMIS! ! !" She wailed. The doppelganger gave her an uneasy smile.  
  
"Answer me, Patron," Fido said sternly.  
  
"I hate them because . . . they are terribly written," She said, getting a bit angry.  
  
"How are they terribly written?" Fido juiced her. She exhaled loudly.  
  
"Because they AREN'T good," she tried to get out of answering.  
  
"Patron, WHY aren't they good?" He asked once more.  
  
"Because they aren't mine." Everyone remained silent. And then Ms. Patron of Anonymity began reciting a few lines she knew well.  
  
"Who am I, you ask, after reading my rather unflattering reviews. I'm a person who tells the truth. I'm young - as young as the majority of the authors here. I enjoy reading - and writing. I don't enjoy having to wade through piles of claptrap to read some good fanfiction. My job is to discourage authors from churning out five-minute rubbish that is so cliché I knew what would happen from the title. I am the Patron of Anonymity. Call me what you'd like, you have your perceptions and I have myself. Maybe your job is to be rid of flamers. You may stop me, but you can't stop us all."  
  
"Anonymity, it's so very clear. Obviously, you have an ego the size of Jupiter but you are also a coward. Maybe you feel your job is to cut people down or "tell them the truth". Honestly, if revenge is your fear, then I can't imagine what your outside life is like. I imagine a paranoid creature, hiding away in you bedroom, waiting for the world to change so it is exactly like you. I don't know what you or any one here is like in reality, but it's pretty easy to see when such a colorful character acts out like this. I can see through you." Fido breathed. Everyone was listening very closely.  
  
"If diversity is what you hate among fan fiction, then so be it. We don't have to listen to you or anyone that decides to tell us what is good or not. We don't. No more than if we didn't want to hear compliments. Optimism is a powerful thing in this business. You'll be stronger if you can take 20 flames and one good review, and say you made at least someone happy. It's an amazing feeling. I may be wrong, but it seems like you haven't felt that. Think about this. If we were all like you and we all wrote like you, maybe you would be happy for a short time. But eventually it will get boring. This has been proved over and over again. Diversity is a beautiful thing." Fido continued, "Maybe you laugh because we are different. But we laugh because you want to be the same."  
  
Ms. Anonymity left the room. Fido sighed, hoping that she had changed her mind.  
  
"Now what?" slime frog asked Fido.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Spectra16 opened her eyes, still a bit tired from the night before. She stretched out her arms and legs, looking into the blaring light of her new alarm clock she got for Christmas. It was 8:34, just when she liked to get up.  
  
"What a strange dream," she thought to herself and tripped downstairs to breakfast.  
  
After breakfast, she logged on the internet and went onto fanfiction.net. She typed in her e-mail address and password and logged in. Bad news. One of her script format stories was taken off.  
  
"NO! STUPID, STUPID FIDO! ! ! WHY MUST HE TAKE OFF EVERY STORY WITH ONE LITTLE MISTAKE! ! !" Now she was suspended from fandom for a week. Good goin', Spectra16.  
  
"AH SHUT UP, STUPID NARRATOR!" Spectra16 fights with me. Sometimes, I don't understand her. Spectra16 grits her teeth at me and decides to e-mail Nicole.  
  
From: rodrian@stoughton.k12.wi.us   
  
To: artemisfowlnikki@yahoo.com   
  
Message:  
  
I had the strangest dream last night. You were there. And so was the Patron of Anonymity and Artemis and Fido. By the way, Fido (urgh) took off another story of mine! God I hate him! 


	9. Epilogue

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything here that is in this story.  
  
A/N: I couldn't resist tying a little something into this story.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Nine: Epilogue  
  
Artemis sat there, thinking about his past adventures in the cafeteria of the Artemis Fowl Fan Fiction Academy. He wondered how so many adventures had brought so much thrill to readers everywhere. He toasted to a window, showing the outside world and drank his milk. He doppelganger sat next to him, wondering what the lighter side of him would have to say. The doppelganger was now the sickly one, and the real Artemis was back to normal.  
  
"It's a pity I have to become you freakin' shadow," the doppelganger said.  
  
"Yup," Artemis said, still starring out the window.  
  
"We leave tomorrow," the doppelganger said.  
  
"I know," Artemis replied. He was not at all sad. He had not enjoyed the company of his fans at all. Nor did anything but sit there, tied up in a closet. The doppelganger sighed.  
  
"You know, I would've loved to ask some of the fan fiction writers a question about the stories that Eion Colfer wrote that I still don't understand," Artemis said, kind of admitting that he was not always intelligent and could be fooled at some point.  
  
"And what would that be?" The doppelganger asked. Artemis took a moment and sat there, thinking about his question before he asked it. When he couldn't come to a conclusion, he did ask.  
  
"After I read all three books that Ms. Anonymity put with me when I wasn't bound and saw something that was not clarified. Why am I seen all over the world at a certain time?" Artemis asked. His doppelganger snickered and replied,  
  
"What? You think there's one of me?" 


	10. Epilogue's Epilogue

Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy  
  
By Spectra16  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl and co.  
  
A/N: I wanted to continue this story somehow. I don't know if will after this or not. I just wanted to leave you guys hanging.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Epilogue's Epilogue: Who? Where?  
  
Kurtz Kov was a respectable man with nothing to worry. He had the perfect life, prefect job, perfect family (with the exception of his niece), and liked his life to the fullest. He didn't bother anyone, no one bothered him. He was taking placement order of some sodas that had been ordered from the States and studied his sheet that he checked off with. The cool air was hard to keep your eyes open for more than a few seconds. Russia at this time of night was all but kind. He heard a few footsteps behind him, but thought nothing of it. He did get a bit curious though, and turned.  
  
A boy, no older than his son stepped into the light.  
  
"What are you doing here? There are no children allowed near here. Go home!" Kurtz said, giving the boy a strange look.  
  
"Home? I know not of a home," the boy pierced him with his cool, blue eyes.  
  
"Where are your mother and father then?" He asked.  
  
The boy gave him a wolfish smile and said, "Oh them . . . they have a replacement."  
  
"Really now?" Kurtz joked.  
  
"Several, in fact." 


End file.
